Curmudgeonly & Skeptical

You know the setup: there's a bachelor party for John from accounting. Just when the booze is starting to flow and everyone's getting rowdy, in walks an attractive law-enforcement official. She starts to give the party's honoree a stiff talking-to, and what do you know? Instead of getting a ticket, the groom gets to eats a banana from between her breasts, and the best man gets a hummer. A time-honored tradition.

So TWIS can empathize with a group of Israeli partygoers that quite literally grabbed the wrong end of the stick. This week, an Israeli policeman responded to complaints about a noisy bachelorette party. Turns out the rowdy women had ordered a male stripper dressed as a cop. Thinking the stripper had arrived, they began trying to undress and caress him. The bewildered copper told reporters that one woman "took off my shirt and untied my shoelaces," while another "started stroking me and called on her friends to join in." The officer complained and flashed his police badge, but the women just thought it was part of the act. Isn't there some kind of international safe word for these situations?

Reportedly, the policeman was able to extricate himself when his partner called for reinforcements, and the revelers were fined for trying to induce the Gaza strip. — Grant Stoddard