Don't name a pig you plan to eat.
Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.
Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you
bounce.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.
A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.
Trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked.
Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.
Meanness don't happen overnight.
To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses.
Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal, it just ain't helpful.
Teachers, bankers, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open.
Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.
Two can live as cheap as one, if one don't eat.
Don't corner something meaner than you.
You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, assuming you want to catch
flies.
Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or
weeds.
It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
Don't go huntin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug.
You can't unsay a cruel thing.
Every path has some puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.
Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day
Don't squat with yer' spurs on
Never smack a man in the mouth who's got chewin' tobacco.
