Burnishing the Clinton Legacy

    Almost [sigh] unbelievably, the Clinton boondoggle AmeriCorps (a.k.a. Democratic Party farm system for public teat sucking)  "stands to get a huge funding boost from Congress that could swell its ranks of volunteers next year," says the Boston Globe.  What's wrong with that picture?  Huge spending boost?  Swell ranks?  Volunteers?  That's because the little dick likkers ain't volunteers, is they?  I'm beginning to think Tommy Franks' scenario has an upside.  Lots of firing squads on Capitol Hill.  (Shown, a member of the elite AmeriCorps Ninjas practices carrying loads heavier than 10 pounds.)

A new war on drugs?

So, you witless GOP buttock-rimming scoundrels thought you could could buy terrorists off, did you? 

This Just In

WED Nov 26, 8:47 AM ET

Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-MA) delivers the convocation at  the Democratic "Prayer Breakfast For a Worsening Economy".  An excommunicated Catholic, Kennedy forgot how to sign himself and intoned, "In the name of ... of uhh, In the name of ... does anyone remember the rest of this?" Nobody did, so he hummed the 1950's tune, "Freddy My Love, " causing considerable confusion. (Kevin Lamarque/Reuters)

Homage to Diversity

Boys "Down Under" celebrate their founding days by recreating the senior prom beach party. This was necessitated by the cruel British magistrates who banished them to faraway shores without the benefit of Pilgremettes to give them succor.

      I was wondering what the Down Under boys did in lieu of  a proper Thanksgiving to celebrate.  NZPundit  is concerned over the  "shameful occurrence of the slaughter of the innocent. (no, not sheep, but actual humans)."   John Ray ("Leftists just KNOW what is good for us. Conservatives need evidence.") pays homage to his Yankee roots by giving advice on eating turkey.  Follow the links, however, and you get some of the sweet trimmings John is famous for.  Happy Prom Day, fellas.

Posted by pecksnif at 02:24 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

A Real Thanksgiving

      This  Thanksgiving eve tomette reminds me of the History Channel's "The Real First Thanksgiving" I watched last night.  It seems that the true origins have been obscured out of political correctness.  What really happened was that, among the early Pilgrims were a group of haughty condescending know-it-alls who the other Massachusetts settlers called "arseholes," after the belligerent asses they emulated, and later shortened to (bear with me here) "Donks."  The Donks plotted with some local Indians to sell the good people into slavery in return for free turkey.  The Indians, being a noble breed, killed the Donks instead.  When they told Miles Standelwich about this, he proclaimed a day of "Thanksgiving," where the Indians brought all the food and entertained the white womyn with huge snakes they had trained to stand straight in the air.  That's the truth.  We need to go back to those old customs.

Only a Donk ...

Anytime Amtrak Travel Tip

Be prepared to stand when riding Amtrak
   This Thanksgiving Amtrak Travel Tip is coming too late, so we'll call it the Anytime Amtrak Travel Tip.  I snapped that pic on the way home from New York (a Sunday, on an unreserved ticket), but it could just as well have been taken on the way up (Friday, on a reserved ticket).  Amtrak oversells any train, so beware.  Here are some helpful hints, including some that  frequent trainboy Greeper had to tell me about.

Ticket prices ...  

... Have gotten way expensive, and it's often much cheaper to fly, but you can stretch your legs way out on the train, and walk around.  There are ways to cut the ticket cost from 15% -70%.

     The biggest discount (50%) is available to veterans who join Veterans Advantage ($22.95 for one year).  There are caveats.  The 50% discount is only available on "off peak hours" -- before 11 AM and after 11 PM. All other times you get a 15% discount. 

     Check here for other discounts, including regional promotion fares.  We received an additional  20% off  by citing the code for some museum deal in NYC, even though we had no intention of seeing it. Seniors discount (15%) only begin at 62.

Should I buy my ticket on line?

     Only if you like knitting needles shoved up your nose.  If there is the slightest irregularity, you will be sent back to ground zero, over, and over, and over.  But, there's another reason not to ticket online --discount layering.  You can only apply one discount code  online.  If you call, and go through the rigmarole necessary to get a human agent, you can layer discounts.  For instance, if you are a 62 year old student, and veteran, who is going to see the Corn Exhibit in Ames, IA, Amtrak will have to pay you money to ride. 

What is a reserved ticket?

     If you're traveling at peak times, it's a good idea to get a reserved ticket, since it doesn't cost a penny extra.  What it means is, you get a 5 minute head start to get a seat before the unreserved riff-raff are turned loose. 

Should I buy Business Class?

    If you want, but it costs more and you get absolutely nothing in return.  Nothing.  Same seats, same air, same everything.  Business Class is an Amscam.  There are benefits to the savvy traveler though.  There is a business class car, but no business class service, on weekends.  That means,  if a train is full you can usually waltz right into the BC car and find a seat, because nobody else (including the lone schmuck who bought BC) knows this.  The conductor will grin. 

Should I go First Class?

    I ain't never done that, but I do see all the swells sitting in their table cloth covered dining car being served caviar on toast,  It costs a lot of money though, but if you've gottem, smokem. 

Things that work

    That last post reminded me that I have not posted the brined turkey recipe this year.  There's still time though [See below]. This will be the best turkey you ever served  (well, there is one additional step, which I mentioned last year, that will make it even better).

Good Eats Roast Turkey          Recipe courtesy Alton Brown 1 (14 to 16 pound) frozen young turkey For the brine: 1 cup kosher salt 1/2 cup light brown sugar 1 gallon vegetable stock 1 tablespoon black peppercorns 1/2 tablespoon allspice berries 1/2 tablespoon candied ginger 1 gallon iced water For the aromatics: 1 red apple, sliced 1/2 onion, sliced 1 cinnamon stick 1 cup water 4 sprigs rosemary 6 leaves sage Canola oil       Combine all brine ingredients, except ice water, in a stockpot, and bring to a boil. Stir to dissolve solids, then remove from heat, cool to room temperature, and refrigerate until thoroughly chilled. Early on the day of cooking, (or late the night before) combine the brine and ice water in a clean 5-gallon bucket. Place thawed turkey breast side down in brine, cover, and refrigerate or set in cool area (like a basement) for 6 hours. Turn turkey over once, half way through brining.     A few minutes before roasting, heat oven to 500 degrees. Combine the apple, onion, cinnamon stick, and cup of water in a microwave safe dish and microwave on high for 5 minutes. Remove bird from brine and rinse inside and out with cold water. Discard brine. Place bird on roasting rack inside wide, low pan and pat dry with paper towels. Add steeped aromatics to cavity along with rosemary and sage. Tuck back wings and coat whole bird liberally with canola (or other neutral) oil. Roast on lowest level of the oven at 500 degrees F. for 30 minutes. Remove from oven and cover breast with double layer of aluminum foil, insert probe thermometer into thickest part of the breast and return to oven, reducing temperature to 350 degrees F. Set thermometer alarm (if available) to 161 degrees. A 14 to 16 pound bird should require a total of 2 to 2 1/2 hours of roasting. Let turkey rest, loosely covered for 15 minutes before carving. Yield: 10 to 12 servings

More reasons to get plastered

     So Maryland gets to play WVU in the Gator Bowl.  Whoop-di-do.  Since the Terps already beat the Mountaineers  90-5, or something like that, earlier in the year; and, 50 out of the last 51 times, or something,  who WGAF?  If  I'm a Maryland player, I'd find it hard to roll out of bed for this game, which means, of course, that West Virginia will win easily.  The good thing is, it's played on New Years Day so I'll be so legally plastered and won't remember the game was even played.  So, don't tell me. 

Simpson's Fun

Tony meets Homer     Just two days after President Bush dined with average blokes at the Dun Cow Inn in Sedgefield, England, British Prime Minister Tony Blair reached out to Middle America with a brief appearance on a popular U.S. television show.     In Sunday night's episode of "The Simpsons," Mr. Blair greets the cartoon family upon their arrival at London's Heathrow Airport. "Hello, welcome to the United Kingdom," the prime minister says to Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and mute Maggie.     Asked by the precocious Bart why Mr. Blair would greet "lowlifes like us," the prime minister, who taped his segment in April, says: "Because I want to encourage all the world to see the beauty of 21st century Britain."     "Would an American dollar encourage you to leave us alone?" Homer asks, waving a $1 bill. "No, but thank you," Mr. Blair says, grabbing the dollar and putting it into his suit pocket.     "Tony, I mean, Mr. Prime Minister," Marge says, "what should we see first?"     "There's so much to see here: Parliament, Stratford on Avon, the white cliffs of Dover, oh, and you Americans love castles, there's a huge one in Edinburgh, the city where I was born."     In a classic Homerian nonsequitur, Homer says: "The place where I was born is now a gator farm," to which Mr. Blair responds enthusiastically: "Smashing."     Lisa then asks if the prime minister can give her family a personal tour of England. Mr. Blair, a self-admitted "Simpsons" junkie who watches the show with his wife and children, responds: "I'd love to, but I'm late for an appointment: I'm greeting a lovely Dutch couple at Gate 23. Cheerio." He then straps on a jet pack and buzzes down an airport corridor.     Not always up on the latest news, Homer deadpans: "Wow, I can't believe we met Mr. Bean."     The show also featured another great line from Homer, who gets stuck in a "roundabout" (traffic circle). After hours of driving in circles, he declares, "I'm going to act the way Americans act best — unilaterally."     A Fox spokeswoman said Mr. Blair's appearance was the first on the show by a world leader.  Greg Pierce

What we need, more smartasses

snarks around

Beauty

Exit zero on the Jersey Turnpike

In order to demonstrate the nincompoopery behind  "Assault Weapon" laws, that ban the sale of certain "semi-automatic" rifles through sheer ignorance,  I once posted this picture of  an 11 year old me.  I'm holding a .22 Stevens semi-auto that was made in 1939, and belonged to my dad. I photo shopped a banana clip, flash suppressor, and some other military looking stuff on to it, and ended up with .... a Stevens .22 semi-auto manufactured in 1939.  As Mr. Spoonsy discovered, some people in New Jersey don't read my blog.  Sigh.

Know when you've won

Aside from his tax cuts, I cannot think of a single domestic initiative by Bush that I've agreed with, but by God I'll give him his due.  This picture of  cranky old Donks protesting AARP, a collection of  Abe Simpson whiners with an entitlement complex, and almost exclusively in the pocket of Democrats, did make me smile.  And while liberals celebrated Clinton's cunning in triangulating Republican issues; they still refer to Bush as a dolt.  They are the real idiots, who don't know when to claim victory because it never was about issues with them, but about being in charge.

Don't forget 'Most eminent boil-chewing hair hat'

AmericanInTokyo  provides this exciting footage of a wild celebration in Pyongyang.  The occasion?  The number of honorable titles of respect assigned to the 'Great Leader' dictator Kim Jong-il has surpassed 1200.  The number would have been 1300, but several accolades containing the phrase "festering boil on a whore's ass" were disqualified as pejorative.

... and just a foot away from graduation.

A Palestinian father grieves over his son after he flunked "pin pulling" at the "Yassir Arafat Homicide Killer" boot camp in Syria.   REUTERS/Reinhard Krause Reuters - Nov 22 9:55 PM

Stop, my side hurts ...

The previous holder of the "Our followers are so stupid we can say whatever we want" trophy was President Clinton, when,  just a few days after signing the welfare reform bill in 1996, he promised Democrats that he would not rest until the evil deed was undone."  The new champ?

 Not 10 minutes after the Senate passed the Bush prescription drug plan (sigh), with Democrat votes, Tom Daschle appeared with Lord Kennedy to announced that "Seniors are demanding that we fix this travesty." 

"AWWWWK!" -Donks

Economy Grows at 8.2 Percent Pace in Third Quarter

We're not unpatriotic, we're Democrats

Head Freeper Jim Robinson shares with his flock this amusing E-mail from Donk Central ...

Subject: Don't let Bush question your patriotism Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2003 19:24:07 -0500 From: "Democratic Party" dnc-002Nf03W5y@mailer.democrats.org To: "Jim Robinson" webmaster@freerepublic.com GOP Revs Up Attack Machine Dear Jim Robinson, This time, they have gone too far. We know Republicans are willing to politicize the attacks of September 11. Karl Rove explicitly told them to do so in the 2002 elections, and the Republicans even sold a September 11 picture of George W. Bush to raise money. But now the Bush attack machine has crossed the line again. The RNC has released an advertisement that questions our Democratic candidates' commitment to keeping America secure. And they're going to keep doing it -- unless you help stop them. Democrats and the American people are demanding honest answers from Bush on Iraq, on his State of the Union lies, and on why the White House leaked the identity of a CIA operative. But instead of leveling with the American people, Republicans are using a cheap political ploy to try and change the subject, accusing Democrats of "attacking the President for attacking the terrorists." Bush and the Republicans dream about a country with no debate and no dissent, where they are free to push their extremist agenda with no one standing up to stop them. They will do anything -- anything -- to make that dream a reality. Over the next year, they will question your patriotism again and again and again. If you don't support President Bush, they'll say, you're not supporting our troops and you don't want to keep America safe. It is reprehensible, and they don't care. We must do everything we can to take our country back. The Bush campaign will raise more than $200 million and the Republicans will raise hundreds of millions more. They will have a half billion dollars to stay in power. Everything you can give will make a difference. We urge you to join the fight today. Show Bush and the Republicans that your patriotism means you will stand up to fight for your country. Another four years under Bush and the Republicans is almost unimaginable. Let's kick them out. Paid for and authorized by the Democratic National Committee, www.democrats.org. This communication is not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee. Contributions or gifts to the Democratic National Committee are not deductible as charitable contributions for federal income tax purposes. To unsubscribe from this mailing list, please reply to this message with "unsubscribe" in the subject line. To manage all of your email subscriptions, visit our subscription management page.

What's that word?  Oh yeah, "Masturbatory, halitosis-infested leaking carbuncle on  Ted Kennedy's ass."

Hey Mr. Taliban
We're whacking your banana

    Two American Muslims who tried to join the Taliban were sentenced yesterday to 18 years in prison during a hearing in which they denounced the Bush administration.  One is named Patrice Lumumba Ford.  That alone gets him 20 years in the court of Schultz.  His pappy, Kent Ford, was a prominent Black Panther in Portland in the early 1970s.  Give him 20 years for bad parenting.  They sang a song at sentencing denouncing the United States, which prompted Judge Robert Jones to declare, I changed my mind; hang the bastards." 

Just kidding about that last part.

Just Desserts

     A New Hampshire jury rejected a  widow’s claims that Philip Morris was responsible for the lung cancer death of her husband, a lifelong Marlboro smoker, reports the Union Leader.  Too bad the judge didn't order her lawyers horsewhipped for filing a meritless suit.  But that's not the story,  The story is, I thought the tobacco companies agreed to pay off our national debt, and make all lawyers billionaires, in return for a cessation of this crap.  I don't get it.  Did their check bounce?

Comrade Historians

"When the Soviet archives were opened after the fall of the Soviet tyranny in 1991, I hungrily devoured all the information inherent in the revelations in declassified documents, disclosures from former Soviet officials, etc. They all confirmed and substantiated what conservatives had been arguing for decades -- and what common sense had long ago instructed -- that the Soviets were totalitarian, power-hungry and expansionist brutes that started and prolonged the Cold War.

"When I approached my colleagues with this new evidence, ranging from everything from the issues of the Korean war, Berlin, Soviet espionage, American communists’ links with the Soviet regime, etc., I showed how I had been correct on every issue that we had argued about for years.

"And yet, instead of hearing a mea culpa, a stated regret or admission of some kind of lesson learned, all that I witnessed, in a manner that remains extremely eerie for me to remember, was a callous indifference and smug contempt for the issues at hand. Some of my colleagues articulated a few incomprehensible justifications of their positions; others just switched topics with remarkable speed and ominous neglect. All of them condescended to me for being interested in something so “old” and “ancient.” They patiently counselled me, with a disdain and arrogance that I will never forget, to stop chasing “old ghosts” and “engaging in necrophilia.”

"And these were historians." -- In Denial

kidstuff

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.

"What's wrong dearest?" asked the confused husband.

"Oh darling," sobbed the wife, "I was cleaning little Suzie's room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?"

"Well," replied the man... "I guess a spanking is out of the question?"

Really Bad Santa, a.k.a., Hillary's Wonderful Day

News that Her Filthiness is using pictures of the barbaric treatment of two U.S. corpses in Iraq brings to mind this story.

Chez Kerry

Democratic presidential hopeful Sen. John Kerry of Massachusetts makes Crepes Suzette at a campaign stop in Dover, N.H. Saturday Nov. 22, 2003. (AP Photo/Tim Boyd) AP - Nov 22 11:44 AM

Picking my fights

 

     Nobody is more reactionary than I when it comes to our culture, but I don't get this whole flap over Disney's Bad Santa (and yes, I have made a lot of  hit loot off of it, thanks to Spoons).  First off, it looks like a funny flick.  Second, since when is Santa sacred?  And, third, it is released under the auspices of  "Dimension Films."  No, there's plenty to be pissed off at Disney over.  Like how, under Michael Eisner, Disney stock went down even during the 90's stock craze when companies selling cow poop hit triple digits.  And, Eisner's injection of politically correct horse crap into Disney films.  And, Eisner's refusal to re-release Song of the South.  But, not this. 

Awwwk

Okay, I hate these things too, but give it a try. And don't feel bad, it took me over 5 minutes to figure it out.

The mind boggles ... Or is otherwise engaged.

Thought for the day

OMG

Case Closed

     I watched a spate of Kennedy assassination programming over the weekend, including new additions to Nigel Turner's series, "The Men Who Killed Kennedy."  In one, Judyth Baker gives a quite believable account of her romance with Lee Harvey Oswald (Oswald was a gofer for a biological warfare project aimed at murdering Castro through cancer and Ms. Baker was a scientist concocting the deadly compounds).  A second featured LBJ's long time mistress, Madeleine Brown, describing events she witnessed, including Lyndon orchestrating the assassination.  Yet a third segment had one of Johnson's lawyers offer evidence that, not only did LBJ have Kennedy offed, but several other people too, including his sister and her lover.  

    On the other side, Frontline aired a rerun of its "Oswald did it alone," documentary.  It was very compelling.  If you happen to be an ignorant nincompoop. 

    I don't care how many books about the Kennedy assassination you've read, I've read more (although, you're prolly smarter), and here's what I know to be true.

• The Warren Report was a sham

    If we knew then what we know now (Kennedy's perceived obligations to organized crime, involvement with organized crime, attempts to kill Castro using organized crime, womanizing), not to mention LBJ's bill of particulars (liar, bigger liar, and crook) the Warren Report cover-up could never have been released.  Add to that, Frontline (which regularly fronts for leftist theories later proved wrong) relies largely on Gerald Posner to back them up, and you have instant loss of credibility. 

    Finally, if you care, here is my current thumbnail explanation of what transpired, based on extensive research.

     The Kennedy assassination was implemented by a "task force" that the Kennedys themselves, particularly Bobby, had assembled to kill Fidel Castro.  This motley crew included elements from organized crime, and the CIA (operating independently).  Because it was set up with the government's covert imprimatur, this organization had an unusual degree of deniability built in.  People who wanted Jack Kennedy dead included LBJ, Carlos Marcello, Jimmy Hoffa, Richard Nixon, Fidel Castro, and a myriad of  CIA and Texas oil millionaires.  Bobby Kennedy aided the cover-up out of necessity to protect the family's reputation, and his own political viability.  Lee Oswald was, as he claimed, the "patsy."  Case closed.

What's that word ... shootspaw?

      So I just watched Lord Kennedy say, on FNC, that the House passed the prescription drug plan bill only after one of the greatest abuses of power in history. Republicans held the vote open for more than 2 hours.  Gawd, would I love to kick him in the balls.

Beautiful people

    The NY POST reports two NY legislators are leading a move to have the state's bar and restaurant anti-smoking laws rolled back by permitting qualified establishments to set their own smoking policy.

    Allow business owners a modicum of control over their own destinies?  What a novel idea.  Especially when "some businesses are down by 40 percent to 50 percent because of the smoking bans."

   But, wait.  What constitutes a "qualified establishment?"

"... any bar of food-service establishment that already has a liquor license would be able to apply for a license that for $100 would permit on-premise smoking."

  God bless 'em. These people just can't help themselves.

TIME: "We Like Editorial Balance"

And the winner is ...

Bello!

Why Donks continue to get their asses kicked

"Bob Boorstin, senior vice president for national security at the liberal Center for American Progress, said that if Mr. Bush made a good impression in Europe, it was because expectations were so low.
    "It reminded me of the debates in the 2000 election," Mr. Boorstin said. "The bar was set so low that if he spoke in complete sentences and delivered the speech, and there were no overt acts of violence, then the visit would be seen as a success."
    Mr. Boorstin, a foreign-policy adviser in the Clinton administration, said Mr. Bush did little to temper the "barrage of hatred for the United States' behavior under the Bush administration." - Bush visit to Britain silences some critics

Sunday fun with nudges

You Know You're in San Francisco When . . . You're a woman searching for Mr. Right in the personals, and you have to sort through "S&M," "BDSM," "AC/DC" and any other number of alphabet combos. You're a guy looking for Ms. Right in the personals, and you have to sort through cross-dressing, transgendered, questioning, pre-op or post-op former gentlemen. You're not angry because Al Gore's not the president; you're angry because you think Ralph Nader should have won. Your kids find not only old toys in playground sandboxes but also used needles and condoms. You see bathrooms labeled "His," "Hers" and "Others."

Full SanFranChron piece here.  It's a hoot.

Daughter? I have no daughter

Conclusion: Bad, but not that bad

   The assertion, by General Tommy Franks, that our Constitution will not survive a WMD attack is unsettling, to say the least.  Franks fears that a military tribunal would assume rule; our experiment in republican democracy finished.  Make that startling.  Below, I tried to imagine a series of events, as they might logically unfold, to see if I could make his prediction work.  I couldn't, but maybe you have different ideas. 

EVENT	REACTION
Baltimore nuked when bomb held in Liberian registered freighter explodes in harbor.  Death toll in the tens of thousands, (50,000 alone amongst spectators at a Ravens game)	FBI immediately ties ship to al-Qaeda, and the bin-Laden family.
Bush orders terrorist bases in Iran and Syria destroyed.	Euro's, principally France and Germany, protest our unilateral action; demand UN involvement.
DOJ arrests over 10,000 Middle East aliens; most Congressional Democrats agree with this action.	Random street assassinations of Middle Eastern looking people begin.
Bubonic plague spores released in California, Arizona and New Mexico.  Death toll mounts daily.  Citizens demand borders closed.	All borders closed in the U.S.
U.S. Embassies in Turkey and Spain truck bombed.  Saudi based terrorists arrested.	US bombs several Saudi buildings known to house Islamic fanatics.
Dirty nuke detonated in  Tel Aviv	Israel uses nuclear bombs on Syria. Orders all Palestinians found on street after dark shot.
Islamic-wide Jihad declared against all Westerners.	Truck bombs/bio devices detonated in many European cities.  Shia's in South Iraq, and other areas kill several hundred Brits and Americans in surprise attacks.
West Coast leftists mount protests	Reps. Barbara Lee and Pete Stark shot dead after criticizing U.S. during rally.  Riots break out.
Bush declares martial law	Rioting spreads to East Coast.  Bus carrying Freepers to Pro America rally hit by RPG.  80 killed.
Tactical nukes used by US against Muslims in Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Iran.	Russian protests muted by slaughter of non-Muslims in many ex-Soviet regions.
War against Islam declared by Congress.	Firing squads execute 200 protesters found carrying explosive devices.
American Muslims ordered arrested, detained in camps.	Mostly cheers.   Civil libertarians silenced by fear of vigilante action.
Domestic terror/protests subside	Peter Jennings denounces "American Imperialism" on news cast.
ABC studio in New York rocked by several blasts, destroyed.  Jennings not there	Bush addresses nation, begs end of vigilantism
Eiffel Tower destroyed by French Muslims	Chirac blames U.S.  French citizens execute him on a Paris street.
A North Korean nuke, sold to al Qaeda,  used against American forces in  Qatar.	U.S. uses seven nuclear cruise missiles on North Korea, killing an estimated 2 million NorK troops massed on 38th parallel.
Bush approval rating hits 92%	Barbra Streisand found dead in apparent suicide.

    So, with no more loss of our liberties than occurred during WWII, our democracy continues in tact. Except in Vermont, where secession is voted for. Pat Leahy is elected King of the new state, "Commie Town". Nobody takes notice.

We don't need no gummint help

    I checked out gunner's links in the comment section here, and had this idea.  From now on, answer all application/order  survey questions (come on, we've all done it) with "07/22/1902" when you get to the 'DOB' block.  Your market worth to spammers will fall to about $0 (except to the "scare casket" spam market).

Last second fumble/field goal

Fourth year in a row Terps whip N.C. State

American Hero

Koko ... KOKO ... DAMMIT KOKO, WHERE ARE YOU?

Fun with Asshats

Barbados (AFP) Senator Edward Kennedy is shown here getting help from an aide. "That goddanm 40 hour filibuster left me parched," explained his Tedness.

"Rodge, you are way over the top when you say Democrats are mucus-eating, lobotomized psychiatric out-patients."

"On the "Kicking Ass" blog of Democrats.org, the official Web site of the Democratic National Committee, at least three posts offer similar explanations for Jacko's arrest. Example:

"Not only CNN, but MSNBC, CNBC are also just glutting their airwaves with Michael Jackson. Very little on Bush and his trip, his Energy and Medicare bills and what people are saying, etc. Again--I think it was just a little too coincidental that CA authorities chose right now to arrest Michael Jackson."

Honey, will you warm up the ICBM's while I get ready?

China has warned the United States ...

Maybe a nice cheap rice cooker instead?

Sorry Yoshiko Sakamoto , but Dean Kamen did that years ago, and his offers a smoother ride.

Perfect Squelch

     "The best line from the speech George W. Bush delivered in London on Wednesday was just nine words long. Referring to the throngs of British protesters railing against the U.S. President and the war he'd started in Iraq, Mr. Bush noted that Britain's "tradition of free speech, exercised with enthusiasm, is alive and well here in London." After the laughter subsided, he added: "They now have that right in Baghdad as well." - National Post

HOUSE PASSES MEDICARE DRUG BILL

The previous record was 74 minutes in 1994. This vote was held open for almost 3 hours - until Speaker Denny Hastert had enough vote changes to pass the Medicare bill.

Oh, goody.

More poop

A Muslim reading the comic section in the Washington Post saw this "BC" cartoon, and felt it "only made sense metaphorically, noting the strip contained a total of six crescent moons, and wondered if it might be a cryptic slur on Muslims."

Ibrahim Hooper, CAIR's spokesman, is sure it's a defamation of Islam. -- '...slur on Islam'  (Thanks to reader Barry for the alert)

Followup: Disgusted, the reader moved his family to Skokie, IL, and enrolled his son in the 1st grade at Madison Elenentary School, only to be disappointed again. 

School bars pilgrim, Indian costumes as insensitive

"After a parent complained that the costumes the children had made might be offensive, the principal told the kids to leave their construction-paper headdresses on the classroom shelves.

"Those who had opted to be pilgrims fared no better. Their paper black hats and bonnets also were banned, and for the first time in more than two decades, the 1st graders at Madison School commemorated the events of October 1621 in their school clothes." - "Are we horse whipping enough dickwads?" continued.

A Gore Too Far

In an otherwise superb analysis of Gore Vidal (what is it with people named Gore?), Scott Galupo (Vidal Baboon), errs.

"It is instructive to note how those on the left lionize killers like Ted Kaczynski and Timothy McVeigh: Because their ideology was defensible, their actions were understandable (if not excusable) ... . "

    Timothy McVeigh lionized by the left?  Blowing up a  GOVERNMENT BUILDING excusable?  In what was billed as revenge for the Clinton/Reno Waco slaughter?  I don't think so.  In fact, the Feds were only able to set a modern land speed record, in executing McVeigh, because he was perceived to be one of those right wing nuts.  Which he prolly was, but at least no evidence exists that he was driven to his madness by Al Gore.

Deep Thoughts From Cynthia Tucker

     Insofar as religious zealots are a danger to a free society (and that danger can be quite real), the literal translation of the koran, bible, or associated manifesto is, generally speaking, a tip-off to possible loonocity.   Here, that famously liberal editor of the Atlanta Journal Constitution editorial page preaches from her pulpit on the religious left.  

"I would be forced to bow to prayers that make me uncomfortable; to salute Commandments I consider wretchedly antiquated ("Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house; thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbor's"); and to condemn good friends. (My neighbors, it happens, are a servant-less gay couple.)"

Topic: XXX Culture

HATE

     There are lots of problems with this.  At left is the cover of  Paul Krugman's book, "The Great Unravelling."  To the right, the cover he uses to sell his screed in the U.K., complete with Cheney sporting a Hitler 'stash.  Superimposed is Vice President Cheney as depicted by leftist goons at anti-American rallies in Europe, so you know what Krugman and his publishers are inferring.  Way to go Krugman.  How come you didn't have the 'nads to use that cover here?  These same leftist pukes went ballistic if anyone even criticized Bill Clinton in print while he traveled overseas ("criticism should stop at our shore")  Now we're engaged in real conflict, a world war, and Krugman joins the legion of anti-American glitteratti who've gone offshore for the express purpose of undermining their nation's position. Most Brits are unaware that Krugman has become a joke here, thoroughly discredited, and exposed as a hack and a  liar. Probably, the only paper in America that would employ him is the New York Times. If you see him in the airport, or walking the streets of Manhattan (somebody must run into this guy, some place), it's okay to kick him in the DELETED BY OFFICE STAFF

I woof you

"The Massachusetts Constitution affirms the dignity and equality of all individuals." Wait a second. That sounds a whole lot more like the politically correct new prayer book of the Episcopal Church than it does the Massachusetts Constitution, which was written a very long time ago, when people didn't talk like that. I haven't had time to look it up, understand, but it sounds fishy. "It (the Massachusetts Constitution, that is) forbids the creation of second-class citizens." Oh, yeah? What about the graduated income tax? What about affirmative action in state schools? "The question before us is whether, consistent with the Massachusetts Constitution, the Commonwealth may deny the protections, benefits, and obligations conferred by civil marriage to two individuals of the same sex who wish to marry." No, it's not. That begs the question, which is, "Can two individuals of the same sex marry?" The self-evident answer is, "No," thank you very much. As Howie Carr said the other day, "I could have some kind of ceremony where I marry my dog, but that isn't marriage." "Stupid Bastards" By Lawrence Henry

Lunchtime Fun

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?' When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and Asked him to forgive me. I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't Get on with my real ladder. A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals. Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said - 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From There on it was sticks and stones all the way. My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably Why he got thrown out of the fire brigade. Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand. If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat? I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither. I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

... and haven't we all been there?

Teachers behaving badly

"This semester I registered for a government class dealing with campaigns and elections. The first day the professor told the class that he has enough evidence to indicate that President George W. Bush truly lost the election in Florida and that in his class this would be treated as a fact rather than an opinion. Several classes later he mentioned how he went down to Florida during the election fiasco in 2000 to try to save the country from Bush. I would later drop the class for many reasons, but among them was most certainly this professor's breach of academic balance. " - "Demanding a Full Education at Cornell ...”

Déjà '32

“...I hope someone slits your throat, you dirty, Jew pig...”

Catching ratbastardcommies

     Most people agree that the title "Worst People in America" belongs to members of PFAW, but certainly Greenpeace (America) is prominently mentioned on that  list of reprobates.  So, yes, as official inspector detector of leftist fucktard comings and goings, I am surprised that I missed this. 

Dear Diary

Here are 2 more names (written in invisible ink) that will never again be invoked on your pages, because I'm sick of them.

Jessica Lynch Michael "Wacko Jocko" Jackson

Mommy, it hurts

The Baron today offers a [perhaps] unintentional glimpse at the schizophrenia President Bush has inflicted on would be supporters.  At the end of  a lovely little nugget documenting rampant idiocy amongst Donk president wannabes, he correctly warns: 

"Just remember: a conservative non-vote or a "protest" vote in 2004 will put one of these bastards one step closer to the White House."

Then, immediately after taking his morning constitutional (one imagines), Kim takes pen in hand and correctly warns:

"... many Republicans, including myself, may not vote for GWB because he's betrayed too many conservative principles -- supporting the extension of the assault weapons ban, steel tariffs, allowing government spending to grow, not supporting his judicial nominations, and so on ..."

Zoloft and Scotch do not help.  Maybe Zoloft, Ritalin and Bourbon ... ?  I'll let you know.

Save money, Live longer

   

Drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately-without the unpleasant side effects caused by  traditional pain relievers. Did you know that Colgate toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns. Before you head to he drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled with mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoids peppermints. They'll clear up your stuffed nose. Achy muscles from a bout of the flu? Mix 1 Tablespoon of horseradish in 1/2 cup of olive oil. Let the mixture sit for 30 minutes,then apply it as a massage oil, for instant relief for aching muscles. Sore Throat?? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 Tablespoon six times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria. Cure urinary tract infections with alka-seltzer. Just dissolve two tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the onset of the symptoms. Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost instantly-even though the product was never been advertised for this use. [Ed. - Cranberry juice works too] Eliminate puffiness under your eyes.....All you need is a dab of preparation H, carefully rubbed into the skin, avoiding the eyes.  The hemorrhoid ointment acts as a vasoconstrictor, relieving the swelling instantly. Honey remedy for Skin Blemishes......Cover the blemish with a dab of honey and place a band-aid over it. Honey kills the bacteria,  keeps the skin sterile, and speeds healing. Works overnight. Listerine therapy for toenail fungus....Get rid of unsightly toenail fungus by soaking your toes in Listerine mouthwash. The powerful antiseptic leaves your toenails looking healthy again. Easy eyeglass protection....To prevent the screws in eyeglasses from loosening, apply a small drop of Maybelline Crystal Clear nail polish to the threads of the screws before tightening them. Coca-Cola cure for rust...Forget those expensive rust removers.  Just saturate an abrasive sponge with Coca Cola and scrub the  rust stain. The phosphoric acid in the coke is what gets the job done. Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer....If menacing bees, wasps, hornets, or yellow jackets get in your home and you can't find the insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409. Insects drop to the ground instantly. Smart splinter remover.....just pour a drop of Elmers Glue-all over the splinter, let dry, and peel the dried glue off the skin. The splinter sticks to the dried glue. Hunt's tomato paste boil cure....Cover the boil with Hunt's tomato paste as a compress. The acids from the tomatoes soothe the pain and bring the boil to a head. Balm for broken blisters.....To disinfect a broken blister, dab on a few drops of Listerine....a powerful antiseptic. Heinz vinegar to heal bruises...Soak a cotton ball in white vinegar and apply it to the bruise for 1 hour. The vinegar reduces the blueness and speeds up the healing process. Kills fleas instantly. Dawn dishwashing liquid does the trick. Add a few drops to your dog's bath and shampoo the animal thoroughly. Rinse well to avoid skin irritations. Goodbye fleas Rainy day cure for dog odor....Next time your dog comes in from the rain, simply wipe down the animal with Bounce or any dryer sheet, instantly making your dog smell springtime fresh.

We get letters

    I'm getting tons of mail like this one from Mary Sue in Pierre, SD.

  "Rodge, it's too confusing keeping track of which legislation I should be supporting, like the prescription drug bill.  Is there some way a soccer mom like me can know what's good or bad?

     Yes, Mary Sue, there is. Any legislation the United States Senate is willing to pass is very bad.  Urge your Representative in the House to vote the other way.  And vice-versa.

Try your hand at this (no pun intended)

no arms and no legs (thanks to Dragon Blog.

Cover up, comrades

    In my lifetime (and we're talking San Juan Hill baby) we, the United States, have fought just one foreign war where the usual suspects have not faulted us for engaging -- WWII. Whoops, make that the war in Europe, during World War  II.  This has bugged me for a long time.  Both Hollywood, and the NY TIMES,  were  staunchly with other Americans -- for the last time -- in that fight.  This is conjecture, but had we dropped Little Boy on Berlin, instead of Hiroshima, I don't think there'd be any squawks about an Enola Gay exhibit.  What made the differenece? 
    I  weighed the possibility that Hitler's war against world Jewry was the galvanizing force, but no more.  The same folks in Hollywood and the Times have taken pro terrorist positions against the Israeli state in this current conflict.  That leaves just one possibility, as I see it.  The war against Hitler was the only war we ever fought where the survival of communism was a by-product of an American victory.  Just a thought.

Lunchtime Fun

Correcting the Dickwads

Just a big sweet bunny after all ...

The 0% Solution

This WSJ editorial says what I said here in a comment, only better.

<snip> "So let's be clear. Notwithstanding headlines trumpeting that Massachusetts has just opted for gay marriage, the people of that commonwealth did no such thing. It is four liberal judges on the Massachusetts Supreme Court who, egged on by well-connected and politically powerful gay rights activists, have imposed their own moral values on the rest of its citizens.

"This is no coincidence. Despite Justice Marshall's solemn talk about an "evolving paradigm," most gay rights champions don't believe Americans have evolved that much. And they know they'd have an almost impossible time getting this new "paradigm" past most state legislatures. In other words, it's precisely the American public whom they most fear and whose voice they want to keep out of this process.

"So they've done what liberals so often do: Provoke some state court decisions in hopes that the U.S. Supreme Court will finally do the legislating for them. This sure beats having to persuade your fellow Americans through democratic debate. Did we mention that Justice Marshall's very first legal citation, in the second paragraph of her decision, is Lawrence?

"The tragedy here is that the first casualty of an all-or-nothing court clash over "rights" is any kind of reasoned debate or workable social consensus. American attitudes toward homosexuality are plainly changing, and many companies, including the one we work for, already extend full benefits to same-sex partners. We believe that this signals most Americans are at least open to persuasion about increasing the rights of gay Americans, including but not limited to marriage." <snip>

Selectivity

        James Bowman  examines reasons why Britain [is] Bugged by Bush?  One reason listed is "the idea of Bush as the hayseed with the cowboy boots and the big belt-buckle who, like his father, tends to garble his sentences."  Then:

But perhaps his worst sin against good taste is his religiosity. In the lead-up to the war in Iraq last spring, the ace British television interviewer, Jeremy Paxman had Tony Blair, the prime minister, in the hot-seat and asked him what was widely regarded at the time as a killer question. When he was meeting with President Bush in America, Paxman asked, had Blair prayed with his opposite number? Blair refused to answer, and his refusal was widely regarded as an admission that he had prayed.

Well, why shouldn't he? What was there to be ashamed of in saying a prayer? Ah, such questions could only be asked by those outside the élites. Those within them know that over the last 20 years or so religion in general and Christianity in particular have come to be regarded almost as a species of mental illness. This is even more true in Britain than in the United States and is a big part of the reason for the protests against President Bush during his state visit to our number one ally.

     This is baffling to me.  I heard no such concerns over a First Lady's habit of carrying on conversations with dead socialists.  No Euro concerns about Bill Clinton's nascent pedophilia, or pathologies, coming from these friends who share a natural animus for all things French.  I think the answer must be that the media is focusing on the asshole elements.  But then, who gives a rat's ass what they think?

Views from a Wise Man (me)

    Good Lord Kathleen.  Even a group named "First Amendment Center"  has gone wobbly when it comes to  what schools may do by way of celebrating Christmas.  Charles Haynes, a senior scholar  at the center, suggests these guidelines for choral directors planning the traditional festivities.

Before planning December holiday concerts or other activities in a public school, choral directors and administrators should ask themselves three simple questions:

1. Do we have a clear educational purpose? Under the First Amendment, learning about religious holidays is an appropriate educational goal – celebrating or observing religious holidays is not.
2. Will any student or parent be made to feel like an outsider by the concert or activity? Most parents and students are fine with learning about religious traditions – as long as the school’s approach is academic, not devotional. It is never appropriate for public schools to proselytize.
3. Is our overall curriculum balanced and fair? December shouldn’t be the only time sacred music pops up in the curriculum. Students should learn about religious music from various traditions at other times of the year.

"Will any student or parent be made to feel like an outsider by the concert or activity?"  Get real, of course some dickwad will feel "uncomfortable" (wtf does that mean anyway?) over any school assembly program.  Prolly sue, too.  The better idea is to turn this negative into a positive.  Use the opportunity to allow these people to self  identify themselves, then burn their houses down, slash car tires, and kill their pets by way of sanction.  That ought to set them on their way to new homes in Berkeley, or Vermont, where they can't do more damage.  Let common sense prevail, that's my motto.

Learn to Fly in 25 Easy Lessons

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory. 2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger.  If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again. 3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous. 4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here. 5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire. 6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating. 7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky. 8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again. 9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself 10. You know you've landed with the wheels up when it takes full power to taxi to the ramp. 11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa. 12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier. 13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds. 14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made. 15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are. 16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.. 17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them. 18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be. 19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum (or balsa) going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. 20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment. 21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible. 22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed. 23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to appeal. 24. The four most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, gas back at the airport, and a tenth of a second ago.. 25. There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are, however, no old, bold pilots.

Jacko tours with the Beatles

The End

Things that Work

Euro-Pro F1066 5-Liter Electronic

Stainless Steel Deep Fryer

      One of the few things I can claim expertise in is home fat fryers.  I just acquired my fifth one, the Euro Pro F1066 stainless steel jobby at BJ's ($59), and here are the results.  But first, there are two requirements any fryer MUST have to get the Schultz seal. 

1. Achieve temperature of 375°
2. Be 100% dishwasher safe (excluding the heating element)

     Our first one (T-FAL) broke down after 10 years, but it didn't meet either requirement. The other three I simply trashed, even though they worked, because none met my criteria (I am a hard ass kitchen boy).

     Most of you know this, but for the benefit of some, here's why temperature is important.  Plunging food into hot oil will cause immediate moisture evaporation. Food cannot absorb oil as long as that moisture (escaping steam) keeps oil from getting in.  Ergo, a freedom fry cooked at proper temp (375°), in clean oil, and removed in timely fashion will contain only the oil that sticks to the surface.  That's why God gave us draining racks.  So, fried food is actually good for you (hey, vegetables without sour cream and butter, right?).  This Euro deal has a  digital  temp display, but I verified it with my own thermometer because the others lied.  It will achieve a temp in excess of  375°.   The Euro Pro also has a timer that turns the unit off, and sounds an alert, which is a very nice feature if you are becoming senile.  On the downside, it takes about 10 minutes to get up to full heat; once there, however, it recovers from batch to batch in quick order. 

   Cleaning these things is a mess.  Any part that cannot be placed in the dishwasher will become a source for al-Qaeda's supply of bio weaponry, trust me.  That's why this deal is the best I've owned.  Everything is stainless steel, and the cooking element and electronics are removable in one piece (see right) so that all else can go into the tub.

    Now here's a tip on cleaning the oil.  I've tried coffee filters, wire screen, etc. to remove food and grit before it burns and ruins the oil, but here's the best thing.  Buy one of these splatter guards (about $20) and strain the oil through the very fine mesh.  It's quick, and anything left is microscopic.  If I was industrious, I'd sell these things, cut to size with a handle, specifically for this use.  Have at at, but pay me a royalty.

Depraved people panic

More Sinnesfucking

     Ain't this cute?  Shake down artist, and race hustler extrodinaire, Jesse Jackson, who himself is just a prosecutor with some balls away from long prison terms for embezzlement, tax evasion, and fraud, is urging that Rush Limbaugh be prosecuted for his addiction to pain medicine. Beauty JJ.

Plus de Sinnesfucking Monsieur?

   

    The observation has been made that leftists employ a device I call "Sinnesfucking by Proxy."  That is, to fuck over your mind by accusing you of what they themselves are guilty of.  To wit:

"Worried about a surge in anti-Semitic attacks, France's chief rabbi has cautioned Jewish men against wearing yarmulkes in public, suggesting they wear baseball caps instead." - Associated Press

When Life imitates the utterly ridiculous

Ozark Wisdom

   

Don't name a pig you plan to eat. Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong. Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce. Keep skunks and bankers at a distance. Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps. A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor. Trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked. Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles. Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled. Meanness don't happen overnight. To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses. Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal, it just ain't helpful. Teachers, bankers, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open. Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads. Don't sell your mule to buy a plow. Two can live as cheap as one, if one don't eat. Don't corner something meaner than you. You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, assuming you want to catch flies. Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or weeds. It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge. Don't go huntin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug. You can't unsay a cruel thing. Every path has some puddles. When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. The best sermons are lived, not preached. Most of the stuff people worry about never happens. Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day Don't squat with yer' spurs on Never smack a man in the mouth who's got chewin' tobacco.

LONGER

Q: Why do women take longer than men to reach orgasm?
A: Who cares?

Moon

A retired astronaut opened an unsuccessful restaurant on the moon. The food was great, but there just was no atmosphere.

Roy Lester

     This WaPost story, about Maryland football coach Ralph Friedgen televising locker room pep talks on the internet, made me think of the Terp's coach from 1969-1971 (with a record of  7-25-0), Roy Lester.  What fun we'd have if old Roy had access to that technology.  Once, with his team leading at the half by a scant touchdown, Lester was delivering his best Knute Rockne pep talk when one of his kids interrupted.  "Dad, I need a quarter for the Coke machine."  Roy fumbled in his pockets, then asked if any of the assistant coaches had change.  By the time little Lester got his soda the moment was lost, and the Terps were trounced in the second half. 

    Another time, trailing Wake Forest by just one point, and with less than a minute left in the game, the defensive captain called a time out.

Lester: "Why in hell did you stop the clock?"
Player:  "Coach, it's fourth and 10 and they have to punt.  We can win the game with a field goal."
Lester:  "Goddammit, now we're gonna lose by four!"

Final score:  Wake Forest 18, Maryland 14.

I'll take a six-pack of that Soylent Green please

    AARP, the club for geezers, is supporting Bush's proposed Medicare drug benefit plan that will be the biggest expansion of the Great Society since Lyndon Johnson was president.  For their part, more than 1000 old farts, on hand for a AARP sponsored Donkfest in New Hampshire, booed when the moderator announced the AARP's plan to promote the enabling legislation. Why?  The government won't be spending enough of their grandkid's money.

Posted by pecksnif at 09:08 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

If it's worth fighting for, it's worth biting someone's nose off to get

     I missed this fracas in the culture war, but Mother Superior heard about it on Paul Harvey's show and clued me. Lisa McClelland, a 15-year-old high school freshman at Freedom High School in Oakley, CA, noted the various race based clubs at her school - Black Student Union, the Latinos Unidos for Latino students and the ALOHA club for Asian students, and did what I would have done (if I had had any school spirit).  Lisa started a Caucasian student club.  Of course, the shit hit the fan.  Lisa received threats, was called a racist, and finally transferred to another school. We all heard about Judge Roy Moore getting tossed off Alabama's Supreme Court (which had to happen, of course), because he refused to obey a federal court order to remove the Ten Commandments (which the Feds had no right to do) from his court.  While all this was going on, NYPD chaplain Imam Izak-El Mu'eed had the Koran (that's how I learned to spell it, and that's the way it stays) installed in in the lobby of NYC police headquarters.    With the celebration of the birth of Christ (aka Christmas - what, you didn't know?) upon us, you know what to expect.  Already, in Britain, the dickwads who run the Red Cross, fearing they might offend someone,  have banned the display of religious decorations.  Guess what?  I'm freaking offended.

     Of course we all know what this is about, don't we?  Stripping us of our Western culture is tantamount to the Marines shaving a recruit's head bald.  Both actions destroy the subject's identity, making it easier to build a new model with new priorities.  That's a good thing in the military, but fuck you if you try and erase my culture (and you don't have to be religious to understand  Pastor Martin Niemöller's sermon on the subject).  The older I get, the more I see that  folk cures work as well, if not better, than some of today's fancy schmantzy medicines.  Placing maggots on a  gangrenous wound can save a leg.  Herb teas have proven healing powers.  The Crusaders had the right idea all along.  See what I mean?  Let's begin fighting back.  Are you a smoker?  Not a day passes that you don't have an opportunity to smack some little "second hand" smoke weenie (who is smaller than you)  in the nose.  Once smacked, he'll keep his mouth shut.  Be creative, but don't let any of these pricks go unchallenged.  Buy a copy of  Liddy's book (WILL), and learn from it.  Buy a gun.  Make that two guns, and join the NRA.  It's time to get medieval with these c*s*rs.  Hooooah!

Help me out here

 
**Half of London's Police Will Be Guarding Bush...

Against what threat?  The Brits have imposed draconian anti-gun laws, so they can't be worried about that.  Help me out here.

How Can We Fool You Today - Part MLCIII

 
     Jimmy Carter used to make news by carrying his own suitcase (which we later discovered was an empty prop).  Howard Dean keeps a stable of  stroke victims in his entourage. 

Posted by pecksnif at 03:05 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Bad People

     Forget for a moment the details of the case.  Judges in Massachusetts overturned a law, and smugly wrote that, "In doing so, we are mindful that this represents a change in Massachusetts law."   Calmly, and coolly, allow me to make this observation.  You have no fucking right to make law, you mother fucking Massachusetts fucktard bastards.  Scroll down a way until you come to that guy who beheads people.  Every lawless judge in this nation deserves the same fate.  Pricks.  If  I had organizational skills, I'd start the revolution myself.  Let's meet at the old barn and talk about it anyway.

I can use my blog as a file system if I want to

Jumper settings for 18655 devices

Manhattan on $900 a day - II

    Greeper made reservations for our anniversary dinner at the Mangia Bevi ( Which means "eat me," I think, and is on 53rd & Ninth).  He was told that our table for 12 would not be held one minute after 7 o'clock, so we got there 15 minutes early (the short walk from the Sheraton, and very mild weather helped achieve the impossible).  But, when I looked in the Mangia's window, my bile rose.  Not only was the place packed, but a Greek or Italian  wedding party seemed to have just begun.  The bride (she wore a bridal veil) was on the table slapping a tambourine while everyone else was hooting and playing grab ass, and some kind of tribal music was blaring. 

     Well, we were seated pretty much on time, and the "wedding party" deal, as it turns out, is their shtick.  After  a little vino, the waiters tap the drunkest looking woman in your party, slap head gear on her, and hoist her up on the table.  Wild music plays and everyone has fun.  (Mother Superior was our virginal sacrifice.  Normally a non-drinker, she had, by that time, downed 6-7 glasses of wine and was ready). 

    Here's what we wanted in a restaurant.  Acceptable food, but great atmosphere.  We got very good food, great atmosphere, and very decent prices.  Our tab for 12, including about 5 liters of wine, and tip was $423.  That's the greatest bargain we found in all of New York (where breakfast for two runs $50).  Mangia Bevi is highly recommended. 

Doing the right thing

The Saudi's offer us a model on how to deal with Democrats here at home.

" A Saudi cleric detained this year for promoting al Qaeda-style militancy has apologised for his radicalism, saying on public television that suicide bombings and attacks against the kingdom were sinful.

"The dramatic turnaround of Sheikh Ali al-Khodeir, who had issued religious edicts backing militants bent on toppling the Saudi royal family, appeared to be part of the kingdom's drive to wipe out public support for extremists. "[Full]

The secret?  Simple, they behead people.  Do we have the political will to do the right thing?  I say, we must [hard as it might be].

If you're a failed left wing bomb throwing racist, where do you go?

REALLY Filthy Democrats

REVIEW & OUTLOOK

Sheriff Durbin Our scoop last Friday revealing Senate Democratic strategy memos on how to defeat President Bush's judicial nominees has created quite a stir. Two of the memos came from the office of Senator Dick Durbin, Democrat of Illinois, who was not amused that we gave our readers a taste of the political cynicism behind his opposition. Yesterday he got the Capitol Hill police to raid the Judiciary Committee in search of evidence of who leaked the documents. Sheriff Durbin's office told us late yesterday afternoon that the posse had entered the Committee's computer room and "removed backup tapes from the server." We admit it. We have sources who provided those documents to us, a practice not unknown even, dare we guess, to Mr. Durbin. His outrage at this disclosure contrasts with the notable lack of concern that his fellow Democrats showed some years back over the leak of the Anita Hill charges against then Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas. But since the subject's come up, let us take the opportunity to mention one more document we didn't have time to quote from in Friday's editorial. This comes from staff talking points written for Senator Ted Kennedy to deliver to his fellow Senate Democrats urging them to oppose Miguel Estrada, the highly qualified former nominee for the D.C. Circuit who happens to be Hispanic. "We can't repeat the mistake we made with Clarence Thomas," it said. In other words: Please don't let a "Latino" nominee (as a Durbin memo put it) who happens to be conservative get on an appellate court. His next step might be the Supreme Court. Liberal Democrats have been hiding their filibuster motives beyond high-sounding principle. What really has Mr. Durbin upset is that the public finally got a glimpse of how he really thinks.   So, do you still think "filthy Democrats" is unfairly perjorative? - See Friday's editorial below URL for this article: http://online.wsj.com/article/0,,SB106912006081866800,00.html Updated November 18, 2003

REVIEW & OUTLOOK

'He Is Latino' As the Senate concludes its 30-hour talkathon on judicial filibusters, we thought readers might like to peer inside the filibustering Democratic mind, such as it is. This plunge into the murky deep comes from staff strategy memos we've obtained from the days when Democrats ran the Senate Judiciary Committee from 2001-2002. Or, rather, appeared to run the committee. Their real bosses are the liberal interest groups that more or less tell the Senators when to sit, speak and roll over -- and which Bush judges to confirm or not. Here are some excerpts: November 6, 2001/To: Senator Dick Durbin "You are scheduled to meet with leaders of several civil rights organizations to discuss their serious concerns with the judicial nomination process. The leaders will likely include: Ralph Neas (People For the American Way), Kate Michelman (NARAL), Nan Aron (Alliance for Justice), Wade Henderson (Leadership Conference on Civil Rights), Leslie Proll (NAACP Legal Defense & Education Fund), Nancy Zirkin (American Association of University Women), Marcia Greenberger (National Women's Law Center), and Judy Lichtman (National Partnership).... "...The primary focus will be on identifying the most controversial and/or vulnerable judicial nominees. The groups would like to postpone action on these nominees until next year, when (presumably) the public will be more tolerant of partisan dissent." November 7, 2001/To: Senator Durbin "The groups singled out three -- Jeffrey Sutton (6th Circuit); Priscilla Owen (5th Circuit); and Caroline [sic] Kuhl (9th Circuit) -- as a potential nominee for a contentious hearing early next year, with a [sic] eye to voting him or her down in Committee. They also identified Miguel Estrada (D.C. Circuit) as especially dangerous, because he has a minimal paper trail, he is Latino, and the White House seems to be grooming him for a Supreme Court appointment. They want to hold Estrada off as long as possible." February 28, 2002/To: SENATOR [Kennedy] "Ralph Neas called to let us know that he had lunch with Andy Stern of SEIU. Andy wants to be helpful as we move forward on judges, and he has great contacts with Latino media outlets..." April 17, 2002/To: SENATOR [Kennedy] "Elaine Jones of the NAACP Legal Defense Fund tried to call you today...Elaine would like the Committee to hold off on any 6th Circuit nominees until the University of Michigan case regarding the constitutionality of affirmative action in higher education is decided by the en banc 6th Circuit....The thinking is that the current 6th Circuit will sustain the affirmative action program, but if a new judge with conservative views is confirmed before the case is decided, that new judge will be able, under 6th Circuit rules, to review the case and vote on it." June 12, 2002/To: SENATOR (Kennedy) "...Ultimately, if [Chairman Pat] Leahy insists on having an August hearing, it appears that the groups are willing to let [Timothy] Tymkovich [10th Circuit] go through (the core of the coalition made that decision last night, but they are checking with the gay rights groups)." Mr. Tymkovich apparently got the gay OK. URL for this article: http://online.wsj.com/article/0,,SB106877910996248300,00.html Updated November 14, 2003

A little perspective ...

Protests begin but majority backs Bush visit as support for war surges

Today's Tip

Perfessor Owl says ...


... if you don't care about quality, a great way to build your blog traffic is this.  "Paris Hilton Sex Tape download"

FACT

Lock & Load

As the World Tribunal on Reparations for African People in the U.S." convenes in Philadelphia, members have issues besides extortion to consider.

"The term 'African-American' in our opinion is a contradiction. You cannot be what your enemies name you and be yourself at the same time." -Chimurenga Waller, president of the International People's Democratic Uhuru Movement   (& Screen Door Company)

    Waller said privately that his personal choice for "African American" replacement was "African inhabitants and rightful owners of that place between Canada and the place where all the Spics live."

Does Al Gore get a piece of this action?

So it appears.

Yup, Al Gore has signed on with a company that thinks they invented water free urinals.

Egg

As good as it gets

Dumb, Dumber And Dumbest

Charley Reese

Here are the statistics from the National Safety Council: In the year 2000, firearms killed 600 Americans accidentally. That's 600 out of nearly 280 million. Here are the other numbers of accidental fatalities for that year: autos, 43,000; falls, 16,200; poisons, 11,700; drowning, 3,900; ingestion of food or other object, 3,400. The only number of fatalities lower than accidental firearms deaths is that from poison gases – 400.

    The positions of most urban liberals on firearms are dumb, dumber and dumbest.

    It is dumb to suppose that the way to decrease crime is to make sure all potential victims of violent crime are disarmed. It is dumber yet to believe that a criminal will obey a gun-control law. No bank robber or rapist has ever set out and then stopped and said, "Gosh, I don't have a permit for this weapon, so I guess I'd better not rob that bank or rape that girl." No serial killer has ever said: "Gosh, I can't kill this person with an unregistered weapon. That would be against the law."

    The dumbest idea is to suppose that an inanimate object can turn a noncriminal into a criminal. To believe that guns cause crime is as stupid as believing that hammers and saws cause houses. It is the grossest kind of mindless superstition to suppose that some magical qualities of an inanimate object can overpower the human will.

    A gun is neither a romantic nor a sinister object. It is just a plain tool, like a hammer, a saw or a router. It can be used for recreation, and it can be used for self-defense. Like a chain saw, it can hurt its owner if the owner is careless or stupid. But the modern firearm is inherently safe. The gun cannot load itself or fire itself. Properly stored and used, it is safer than a stepladder or a swimming pool or an automobile. It is even safer than eating.

    Here are the statistics from the National Safety Council: In the year 2000, firearms killed 600 Americans accidentally. That's 600 out of nearly 280 million. Here are the other numbers of accidental fatalities fyearor that : autos, 43,000; falls, 16,200; poisons, 11,700; drowning, 3,900; ingestion of food or other object, 3,400. The only number of fatalities lower than accidental firearms deaths is that from poison gases – 400.

    The next time some urban liberal tells you he just wants to make firearms safer, tell him to consult the National Safety Council, stick the statistics where the sun doesn't shine and then go straight to hell for being a big, fat liar. Sorry to put it so harshly, but I can't abide lying politicians.

    I was born into a home with guns, I have lived my whole life in homes with guns, I have raised my children in homes with guns, and I have worried enormously more about their scuba diving and sky diving than I have about their contact with firearms.

    Furthermore, when I married, I assumed the responsibility for the safety of my wife and children. I was never willing to bet their safety on the possibility of my skills in unarmed combat overcoming an intruder. I suppose it comes from my Celtic blood, but when it comes to defending those I love, I'll kill any number of people to keep them safe, and I have always made it my business to have the means of doing so at hand. I gave up fair fights in the second grade. I have seen too often with my own eyes what psychopathic scum can do to innocent human beings. To use Mr. Donald Rumsfeld's style of speaking, do I trust human beings? No.

    The Founding Fathers of our country, as politically incorrect as it might be to say so, were revolutionaries who had to use violence to overthrow tyrannical rule. They wrote the Second Amendment not to make sure people could go duck hunting, but to make sure that they would have the means, if necessary, to overthrow tyranny again. The meaning of the Second Amendment is clear to all but those who hate the idea of a free people. It states that "the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed." It does not say members of the militia or policemen or soldiers. It says the people, and it means every individual American citizen in this God-blessed land, whatever shyster lawyers have to say notwithstanding.

    Unfortunately, the world is still ruled by force, and a disarmed people are not free, but at the mercy of those with arms. I hate the very concept of being "at the mercy" of anyone.

    If you believe in the right to life, then you must believe in the right to have the means to defend that life. Unless you wish to spend years learning the bow and arrow and the broadsword, I'd suggest you join 4 million others and me in the National Rifle Association, lest a bunch of dumb urban politicians put you and your family at the mercy of any wandering criminal.

November 11, 2003

Posted by pecksnif at 10:26 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Naming a name

The soldiers have said they acted in self-defense, that conditions were chaotic at Camp Bucca, and that guards had been harassed and assaulted daily by unruly prisoners." -3 U.S. GIs Face Charges in POW Abuse Case

     Unless there's overwhelming evidence that proves this is a lie, the case is closed.  In a sane world.  But this case, the Canadian troop bombing charges, the Lt. Col. Allen B. West travesty, and many others over the past 15 years, or so, cannot be blamed entirely on the bad judgment of  their military superiors for bringing charges (although it would be nice to see one fall on his sword in protest once in a while).  No, these cases are all the legacy of one Rep.Pat Schroeder D-CO, retired.  It was she, more than any other person, who waged war on the military from her chair on the House Armed Services Committee.  After she was finished with Tailhook, and other lesser known military witch hunts, survival in the ranks meant politics first, national interest second.   She is a bad, bad woman, who harmed the nation.  Bitch.

LOVE

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined:

When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca - age 8

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4

Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7

Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss." Emily - age 8

Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7

If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate." Nikka - age 6

Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7

Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6

During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8

My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - Age 6

Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine - age 6

"Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7

Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4

I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4

I let my big sister pick on me because my Mom says she only picks on me because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister because I love her." Bethany - age 4

When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7

Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6

You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8

Holy Crap

Oh Zhay -- I lub you guy ...

I recently complained about the uni-jury that, most recently, acquitted Robert Durst.  Now, by golly, we have a possible explanation. (Via Fark)

Newspapers

-The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country. -The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country. -The Washington Post is read by people who think they should run the country. -The Washington Times is read by people who suppose God wants them to run the country, would like to make enough money to understand the Wall Street Journal, and are comforted every morning knowing those who read the New York Times are no longer running the country. -USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand the Washington Post. They do, however, like their smog statistics shown in pie charts. -The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn’t have to leave L.A. to do it. -The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and they did a far superior job of it, thank you very much. -The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat in the subway. -The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who’s running the country either, as long as whoever’s running the country does something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated. -The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure there is a country, or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority lesbian feminist atheist dwarfs, who also happen to be illegal aliens from any country or galaxy, as long as they are Democrats. -The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores. -The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the supermarket.

Author unknown

I've heard that song

   The History Channel has been hyping Sunday's "JFK, A PRESIDENCY REVEALED" like this:

"Now,  JFK will be judged by his life, and not by his death"

   That can't be good news for Kennedyphiles. 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to prison

Stay right there while I go get a haircut

Too Hot to (Pan)handle

There's a really great teacher

Grade inflation is one way educators can make themselves look good, but ...

"And from the wonderful world of education, Lauren Lee has received an A in honors-level geometry and an A in physical education on her report card from Sherwood High School in Montgomery County, Maryland. Thing is, she doesn't go to Sherwood High School... she goes to a private school nearby. A Sherwood High School guidance counselor, according to The Washington Times, said she was appalled, but had no explanation." Brit Hume

Posted by pecksnif at 10:40 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack