A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to
have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my
stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's --Dress, and began to
take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several
cabs, and I was in the wrong one. --Dr. Mark MacDonald, San
Antonio, TX
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a
wife
that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more
than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the
family that he had died of a "massive internal fart." --Dr. Susan
Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I
asked,
"How long have you been bed-ridden?" After a look of complete confusion
she answered., Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband was
alive." --Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR
I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, So, how's
your
breakfast his morning?" It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly.
I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then
asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY
Jelly." --Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI
A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite
embarrassed
performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had
unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle aged lady
upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and
further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly
said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the
song you were whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener."
--Won't admit his name
