Curmudgeonly & Skeptical: Ted Kennedy, A National Joke for Twenty-five Years.

April 08, 2004

Ted Kennedy, A National Joke for Twenty-five Years.

National Lampoon began publishing in the '70's; this was an early offering. It's still a beauty.

If Ted Kennedy drove a Volkswagen,
he'd be President today

NATIONAL LAMPOON It floats.

The way our body is built, we'd be surprised if it didn't. The sheet of flat steel that goes underneath every Volkswagen keeps out water, as well as dirt and salt and other nasty things that can eat away at the underside of a car. So it's watertight at the bottom. And everybody knows it's easier to shut the door on a Volkswagen after you've rolled down the window a little.

That proves it's practically airtight on top. If it was a boat, we could call it the Water Bug. But it's not a boat, it's a car.

And, like Mary Jo Kopechne, it's only 99 and 44/100 percent pure. So it won't stay afloat forever. Just long enough. Poor Teddy. If he'd been smart enough to buy a Volkswagen, he never would have gotten into hot water.

When a law suit was threatened by VW, National Lampoon ran the following retraction:

"Even if Ted Kennedy had driven a Volkswagen he wouldn't be president today."

Rodger Schultz April 8, 2004 04:08 PM |

Comments: Ted Kennedy, A National Joke for Twenty-five Years.

Truth in advertising ;-)

Posted by AnnoyedOne at April 8, 2004 04:35 PM

HA!
and I read somewhere today:
"If Iraq is Bush's Viet Nam, then Kerry is Kennedy's
Chappaquiddick"
or something to that effect.
(Scrappleface maybe?)

Posted by SondraK at April 8, 2004 05:24 PM

Teddy's about the size of a VW Beetle these days, isn't he?

Posted by julie at April 8, 2004 06:48 PM

True julie, but Ted is 99% alcohol and if I remember my chemistry correctly, alcohol floats on water.

Posted by AnnoyedOne at April 8, 2004 07:11 PM

Sondrak

And us Americans are Mary Jo Kopechne.

Posted by Jake at April 8, 2004 07:27 PM

As Rodge would say "You're the Jake, Jake".

Posted by SondraK at April 8, 2004 07:32 PM

Uh ... You're Jake, Jake

Posted by Rodger Schultz at April 8, 2004 09:14 PM

I have always thought that Teddy Kennedy was a couple of Shiners short of a six-pack. His incredibly bad judgment got him tossed out of university for cheating, and da-da bought him back in. Then, with poor Mary Joe fighting for her life, he sat on his duff drying out and wondering what to do. Now, he shoots his mouth off in a pathetic, partisan way, with troops engaged in combat.

I think that he's just an incredibly flawed person who, without his family name, influence and money, would likely be the real-life Otis the Drunk, sleeping it off in a seedy jail.

Posted by TrooperJohnSmith at April 9, 2004 02:14 AM

May I assume you read "Senatorial Privilege" Trooper? Also, somewhere in my sack of stuff I have Teddy's 1970's senate speech laying out the cost of his Medicare program as being, oh, about a buck-ninety-five. I also have his prediction of U.S. casualties in a Operation Desert Storm as about 80 million. No judgement, no character, no mas.

Posted by Rodger Schultz at April 9, 2004 08:11 AM

Rodg,

I am loathe to disagree with you, as you are so often right (as well as Right), but I recall Kennedy's comments re: Gulf War I to be 35-40K. 'Course, that was "body bags" (his words exactly), not casualties. I find it hard to believe that even a drunken halfwit like fat Teddy (D-Chappaquidick) could estimate casualties as high as 80 million. Isn't that like 1/3 of the US population at the time?

Posted by Guy at April 9, 2004 09:06 AM

hyperbole to make a point

Posted by Rodger Schultz at April 9, 2004 09:34 AM

WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS WHY IS TED KENNEDY STILL IN OFFICE AFTER MURDERING MS KOPECHNE? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THE PEOPLE IN MASS?

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