Curmudgeonly & Skeptical: Enter Now -Win Big Prizes

May 25, 2004

Enter Now -Win Big Prizes

Top Ten Signs You Have A Bad Commencement Speaker

10. He makes the regrettable decision to give speech in mime
Brian T., Parowan, UT

9. Uses speech time to talk about the car he has for sale
Sal Q., San Diego, CA

8. Yesterday he sold you a DVD player at Circuit City
Rory H., Shakopee, MN

7. Recites entire speech in Klingon
Joshua H., Ft. Worth, TX

6. Vibrating or squealing noises at high volumes.
(Sorry, that's a sign you have a bad component speaker)
Brian E., Norristown, PA

5. Keeps having to interrupt speech to take calls from probation officer
Mark F., Cambridge, MA

4. Keeps saying, "Damn, you got some hotties here!"
Matthew M., Astoria, NY

3. They announce the entire speech will be in Aramaic
Andy B., Orange, TX

2. Demands an honorary doctorate for his pants
Chris P., Skaneateles, NY

1. It's either Milli or Vanilli
Larry L., Smyrna, TN

Here's this week's topic:

Top Ten Least-Exciting Drudge Report Headlines

Rodger Schultz May 25, 2004 01:12 PM |

Comments: Enter Now -Win Big Prizes

NBS... I'm sitting here at work next to a guy who graduated from BU last year and he tells me that one cannont help but sleep through any of the speakers BU gets 'cause there ALL boring liberals that only know how to rant and ramble on! LMAO!

Posted by MoFiZiX Gr4FiX at May 25, 2004 02:00 PM

- America tops Islamic hit parade.

- Terrorists buy weapons and lap dances with US dollars.

- US planes attack wedding party. Large secondary explosions heard.

- "The Day After Tomorrow" has record-breaking opening, but the box-office take on its second day falls into four figures.

- Ralph Nader falls off bike.

- Olsen Twins come of age. PhotoShop shares soar!

- Matt Drudge buys Air America.

- Boston hosts Dem convention. Serves them right.

- Michael Moore awarded Leni Riefenstahl Prize for Documentaries.

- 24,683,000 Iraqis did not attack American or coalition troops today.

Posted by DougM at May 25, 2004 02:13 PM

No's. 4, 5 and 7 must have been Marion Barry. He just didn't know he was speaking in Klingon.

Posted by dick at May 25, 2004 03:05 PM

I submitted these:

Woman buys Tomato Soup, discovers it's Cream of Celery

Democrats claim they were misled

Man misreads directions, tapes 'Hoy en el Mundo' on the Spanish Channel instead of'Rugrats.'

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